Page 548 - Demo

Fools%u2019 Journey542alteration that needed to be done. In the last one, I was repeatedly trying to go through the elaborate menu on a DVD player, and couldn%u2019t get anywhere.I had never had night sweats before, and the ones I was having now were significant. I was wet, my pillow was wet, the top and bottom sheets were wet, the two hospital blankets we used as padding under the bottom sheet were wet. On the first morning this happened, I stripped the bed completely and noticed the zippered mattress cover had also gotten wet in the area where my shoulders had beed, and there was a light yellow stain around the perimeter of the damp spot. I%u2019d had chills only a few times during my life, usually in association with the flu. But none of my other symptoms matched the flu. Nor did they match Covid %u2014 nor any other condition we could think of. The chills were always during the day, so I wore a heavy winter bathrobe over my clothes. It didn%u2019t help, and I would just sit and shake uncontrollably. For three days I was too exhausted to get dressed, shave, or brush my teeth. Although I was taking regular showers to relieve tension and headache, I was simply standing there, letting the hot water run over my head. So for several days, I didn%u2019t have a conventional shower with soap. I didn%u2019t have the energy to eat hardly anything. Food just didn%u2019t taste the same, and it didn%u2019t settle well, although I never felt nauseous. I tried to nap during the day but often wasn%u2019t able to fall asleep %u2014 even though I was exhausted.All during this time, Lynn and I talked about what it meant from a psychological standpoint. After all, we%u2019d become convinced over the years that dreams are important, and that physical symptoms usually have some sort of emotional component or cause, and this seemed like a genuine crisis. At first, our theories made some sense, but didn%u2019t quite click. Then just before I stared feeling better we figured everything out, and it all dovetailed together.I had known for years that a part of my subconscious was stuck in childhood. That was when I%u2019d felt the most lonely, abandoned, and unloved by my parents. It was a time when I%u2019d first begun to sense their disappointment in me. While I usually couldn%u2019t communicate with my inner self, Lynn sometimes could, and we both