Page 534 - Demo

Fools%u2019 Journey528busy most of the time with routine chores around our house and wooded property, as well as pursuing smaller artistic or expressive projects. Most of our creative endeavors were hands-on, and often involved our collections. For example, Lynn made jewelry, and repaired the old, often battered dolls making up her travel-doll collection, most of which had been sold to tourists between the late 1940s and the 1970s. At the same time, I continued expanding our philately and postcard collections. However, because we had always had been so totally immersed in big projects in the past, we wondered if we should be doing more. One evening, Lynn mentioned that she didn%u2019t have much to do the next day. This was really unusual, and she felt guilty, as if she wasn%u2019t pulling her own weight. She seemed to saying that she should be busy all the time, as she always had been in past. I suggested we could read more. I pointed out that by choosing to read non-fiction, we learned something from every book we completed. Reading more would be like going to school and continuing our education without having to take the exams.Of course, we knew our most important project was resolving our inner relationships with our families. In this regard, it was a hard-won victory for Lynn when she was able to let her sister go, and move beyond survivor%u2019s guilt. But on some inner level, she still could hear her mother saying she was, %u201cpathetic and had created a prison for herself.%u201d In my case, mostly subconsciously, I continued to feel the disappointment of my parents %u2014 for not being what they%u2019d wanted, not accepting who I was, or what I had accomplished, or wished to do in life. In short, I was never going to be the high-school basketball player, nor the rich doctor, they wanted. Because I didn%u2019t want to hurt their feelings, I had allowed my own feelings to get hurt. As an older adult, that rejection began manifesting itself when I was asleep through loud snoring. I had never snored when I was younger. It had begun when I was in my 60s. The noise was so intense at times it wasn%u2019t unusual for me to wake up with a tension headache %u2014 often a bad one. Of course, Lynn was usually startled awake by my sonorous racket, and