Page 27 - Demo

Kendallville Mental School21two overweight, middle-aged women in the front seat dressed in rumpled clothes, the driver in hair curlers, both smoking cigarettes. The woman in the passenger seat was holding a beautiful baby girl with food all over her face. We were cheerfully told to jump in the back before we caught pneumonia. The radio pumped out %u201cPretty Woman%u201d by Roy Orbison. The station must have been nearby because the reception was good, despite the car%u2019s antenna having been replaced with a bent coat hanger. We could see pavement through a rusted hole in the floor as we slid into the back seat %u2014 being careful not to get snagged on the protruding springs. The driver said not to pay any attention to the two coon dogs. They immediately expressed their undying love by jumping on our laps and licking our wet faces. Yes, this had the makings of a memorable honeymoon.The next morning I opened the drawer of the bedside table and pulled the local phone book out from under the Gideon%u2019s Bible. At %u00bc\town was just two blocks away at a gas station. I called and explained my plight. The guy on the other end chuckled. I felt like a dude who couldn%u2019t mount a horse, talking to a seasoned cowboy. Being a local, he knew exactly where the car was stuck. By the time I walked to his station, he had his truck ready to go. He smiled the whole way over, while I sat, embarrassed, in the passenger seat. The rain had stopped, but everything was still wet, slick, and muddy, so he parked at the top the hill. After starting to unwind the cable from his winch, he saw it wasn%u2019t going to be long enough to reach the car, so he radioed his buddy to bring all their chain. It was just enough to reach into the valley and hook to the car%u2019s frame. Feeling like the idiot I was, I sat in the car, while they discussed my manhood and operated the winch. They got a real kick out of the guy on his honeymoon getting stuck in a muddy field. After a while, two more buddies showed up to see what was going on. More comments, more chuckling, more smirks. Lynn spent her morning wandering around the hotel. The staff kept giving her the eye. After all, it was a little early in the honeymoon for a bride to be abandoned. I returned just before noon, and we had lunch. To her credit, not once did Lynn say, %u201cI told you